I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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