her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
