your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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