Me too!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
