I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
