a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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