thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize