just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize