Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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