ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
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