My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
