one two three fourrrrnication!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
