last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
