he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
