GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
