And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
