dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
