At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
