that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize