He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
