I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
