i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
