All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
