Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
