Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
