Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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