I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
