So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
