you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Randomize
