id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
