Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
