Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize