hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I need to align my fucking chakras
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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