Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
