margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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