Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
