I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
