i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
