oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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