last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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