Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize