My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
