drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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