you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize
