garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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