god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
