just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
