and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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