Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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