ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
