I'm sorry my penis didn't work
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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