The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
