At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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