im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
