its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
