I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
