also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
