I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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