party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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