Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
