I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
