You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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