If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
