We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
