If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
