Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
