New low: just hacked my moms facebook
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
