Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You need a sexual gate keeper
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize