in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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