is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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